We all experienced that someday, this wired feeling of being sucked back in time, or being in a place that does not belong to its present time.
I still remember those wonderful stories of found appartment who were never opened from almost a century. The idea is romantic, until it happens to you...
As my very close relative noticed me, i was already pretty weakened, at the very same period i learnt the terrible cancer status of a close friend (i won't post the name of this friend), the suicide of another one, and now that a cherished one will never come back in Wien after a very long (and won) struggle.
I know that before going in Wien there was the deathmass of this friend, and it helped me to "begining to figure out" why such an extreme gesture, i felt i was ready to go for the last time in this Wien appartment where almost a year ago everything was perfect.
But as i opened the door, i saw that it was frozen in time, almost everything was in the very same position that i left last december, even the calendar near the piano !
The only thing i was able to do was to come on the piano and perform some Glass music, opening, orphée, etudes, metamorphosis, dreaming awake... As Musset used to say, the more painfull is not the sadness itself, it is the fadded memories of wonderful moments within those period of sadness, and this huge feeling of time lost...
My duty, as i promised, was to throw almost everything away, to cut all contracts such as rental, cellphone, internet... well i guess you got the point.
Also since 2/3 had to be throw away, all those memories that months ago you belived would stay forever (anyway 80 kg of cloths in perfect condition and still in trend were returned to her 'other part of the globe' coutry), i finished some very good dry food, and even since there was tons of candles, organised a "romantic bath" for me alone.
I must confess that, when i prepared it, i felt that it was surely the stupidest idea ever, but ... curiously i really enjoyed it, as the candle light is less agressive and more relaxing than our electric lights.
I am very glad that i had a long phone call with my mum at this very time, and to see that some friends took their time to send me some support message and even not to care and call me internationally. Yes i was very sad, the pain was stronger that i could imagine. But i am dedicating this blog post to you who were here when i was in need !
Also very curiously, when i came back in Paris, the "fingers allergy" that i had for months and belived came from my new "aluminium" computer totally disapeared.
When i came back in Paris, guess who was waiting for me ?
ps : i wanted first to do some nicer posts with Wien pictures, but i felt it was a little bit meaningless, you can find easily pictures of this wonderful city anywhere on internet
Now i am back on tracks with some great forthcoming projects, you will soon read about them ;)